Sex Education

Hi

Have you watched the sex education vs porn prog on c4??

Well I have the dodgy sex prog on to tape for rest of week! But having seen the excessively hairy muffs, I took a look at my own in shower today and the following points were noted.

1 I am going grey!!!
2 I am going bald!
3 I am nowhere near as hairy as the birds on that prog.

How can you go bald down below?? And how do you dye muff fluff to stop you looking grey and withered?? I draw the line at buying a merkin - really that is too much.

In hospital circles they have a nasty word for the older fanny, atrophied!! Due to lack of use I suppose. I do believe mine has not reached that stage yet.

I was reading in paper today various things to help you live longer, one of them was to have 200 orgasms a year in order to stay healthy, so I guess I need to meet up with doc and BF more often. That was for womens health at least.

Tonights prog is about mens parts, so lots of flaccid willies to look at. Maybe they'll explain difference between circumcised and not, so I can show the hubby that he has been done, due to lack of foreskin, he denies circumcision, but how do you account for the missing foreskin if not??

I tried to point out to him after Wm was born that he had been done otherwise how do you account for the difference between him and his son's nether regions??

The doc as been to Moscow for a boys weekend, I haven't heard from him as yet to see if he is back. He promised to bring me a russian doll, but I doubt that will happen.

I dreamt the other night that me and him had twins and another on the way, and were emigrating to canada by boat, (on account of the twins), and I was taking BC and Wm with me too!

One of my cats is getting brave, after nearly 2 years he has decided to try and sleep next to me on bed where he always used to sleep pre dog, the dog tries to lick his face but he stands firm and so she just has to ignore him and put up with the cat being there.

Tonight, I am going to try my hand at chicken and bacon, 3 cheese pasta bake. A sort of variation on a recipe for 3 cheese bake. I like the meaty part in it you see.

Ah, further to the hubby, I would like to point out that he has been sleeping in the spare room for months now, as he does not like having the dog on the bed when I am sleeping in our bed.
Also we have not seen in the new year yet, maybe this is because in Rome just before x-mas I took the piss out of his bitch tits, when he was leaning over me naked, I haven't seen him nude for a long time, so I grabbed his titties and said "oh aren't these big, you'll be needing a bra soon" or words to that effect, he was put off his stride, which lets face it is only 10 seconds at most. I don't like sex with him anymore, I no longer find him sexually attractive, over the years when I have suggested things he has refused or ignored the request. For him it is girl on top and all over before you can say orgasm!

Ammendment:

I did go to see the BF on saturday morning, and a very nice time was had by both of us. I cuddled up to him for ages after, and I didn't really want to go home. He likes foreplay, and loves to make the whole thing last as long as possible, inlike hubby who is all done within seconds. Until I met doc and BF I think I had forgotten that sex could be so much fun. Hubby was always fast, I suppose I had hoped that it would get better with time, ie the longer we were married, but it didn't. And I could only compare him to the one night stand I got rid of my virginity to, he was very good, 4 times in one night!!! I will see the BF on Wed, but others will be there, so no hanky panky allowed!

My knitting production is inversely proportional to my sex life, this is why I am 2/3 a way through a cardigan, the wool for which I only bought on Thursday! I still haven't finished the teddy baby grow yet though, not much to do, just sleeves hood and sewin up. I can't do it at work as my hands get very dry from constant washing between patients and the alcohol gel doesn't help either, anyway the fluffy baby wool just breaks up loads when hands are dry and I end up covered in bits of brown fluff.

Anyways I am off now, I need to go to get diesel and food to make the aforementioned pasta bake.

See ya

W x x x x

Day Out

Hi

Well I went over to the doc's house today for some fun and games, it turns out his girlfriend (who was married) has dumped him and he is now back on the market, therefore interested in re-igniting his relationship with me! Anyway I got to play with some cock for a while and that was nice, he says I am alway so relaxed, I told him it was the drugs!!!

He says he may emmigrate to Canada, I have warned him to avoid Montreal where Fat Les is going to be soon. I have looked into going to Canada as my qualifications are recognised over there, but you have to be pretty solvent before they let you in, still something to think about along with the divorce papers when the IVA finishes in March 2014.

TQ doesn't think I'd ever leave Hubby, well true cos that way he'd get the house, so I have to make him leave really. He is a real pain in the butt.

I want to see the BF at the weekend, as I am feeling lost without him, ok I know I have seen doc today but that was just foreplay fun, not the whole hunt the sausage malarchy.

I went out for lunch today with TQ in york and I bought some more knitting wool!!! I have kept it out of Hubby's sight, may bring it out soon, now he's gone to work and I have lager and NCIS for company.

The doc has promised to bring me a russian doll back from his latest Moscow visit, he goes on a boy's dirty weekend tomorrow. I was hoping for perfume really!

I am still waiting on the IVA papers to come through as we need to sign a copy each and return them. Also they haven't rung to take April's payment yet. I am going to have to remember to put £160 into savings account tomorrow to go towards Gas/electric/2 x car tax (the quarterly/annual type things). The bonus of the rabbit dying is that I have been able to cancel his pet insurance.

I don't want to go to work tomorrow but I suppose I can grab as many extremities as I can for my audit and I think it will be best if I wait till I have 25 (ie half) then I shall go in on a day off and look at the films and write the reports up. It will take a while to do as the films have to be ones I have done myself, I got 5 on my 1st night, it may take a week or so to get to 25 and I may have to go in on a Sunday, (quieter, easier to concentrate).

At least after work tomorrow I am (maybe) seeing the BF.

Hey, well anyway back to NCIS, love ya x x x x

It's Not All Good News!

Hi

Well, the IVA meeting was yesterday and it was agreed, so we start paying that in April, which means we will be debt free by April 2014!!!

Last night Sandy Pants signed off my 50 case audit, so I am now waiting for my letter of authorisation so that I can write comments on A&E request cards!!

BUT.....when I got home this morning I found the rabbit dead in his hutch :-(
He was nearly 5 years old so he had a good innings really.

On another note....


.....I am meeting up with the Doc tomorrow, primarily to find out some top gossip about a colleague, but also things may lead on into the bedroom area!

And Sat am I hope to meet up with the BF!

I shall be so busy!

See ya x x x x

Bloody Men!

Hi

Well I left half a red onion hidden in the back of the fridge under some sliced beef, so that I would have it for my sandwiches for tonight at work, and the misery I married decided to put it in his chilli for tea last night! This was despite me putting 3 large onions in the front of the fridge that he could use!

Anyway I believe it is grounds for divorce!

I have been at work for a few hours tonight and really wished I was going home to the BF and not the hubby.

He has upset BC tonight whilst I was out, which isn't good, bless her, she's hidden herself away in her bedroom!

Not much news anyway, see ya x x

I can't say I've been busy but......

Hi

I just haven't really got around to blogging the last few days.

The IVA is on for a creditors meeting next Tue, I have paid Feb's car loan payment but still got March's to do, but with meeting next week I may not have to pay March's anyway.

The kids need new shoes, so that is a trip to Trafford Centre tomorrow after school, as it is the nearest place for Sketchers kids shoes, and they like them best.

Guides were awful again last night, well the older ones were, I don't understand why they bother to come if they aren't going to join in. Surely they can say to their Mum's that they don't enjoy it anymore and leave. We don't mind, we'd rather have the ones who dont mess about and disrupt things. We were making Mother's Day cards, and cards to sell for Marie Curie shops, they were supposed to be doing the buddy letters to send to the South African Orphanage as well. Lets face it not alot got done by the old ones.

I need to order new uniform, I quite like the raspberry pink centenary polo shirts.

And it would appear that not a single one is planning on turning up to church on Sunday for the mothers day service. Bloody Typical.

Went out for lunch today with TQ and 2 girls from work, at our favourite restaurant, very nice!

I haven't seen the BF for ages but I am hoping to see him next Sat, well ok I went to see him last week at camp, but it seems like ages to me.

Catch you later x x x

Viva Day

Hi

Well I had my viva yesterday and I felt very thick. I managed to call a lunate, a scaphoid and mix up my cuboid and cuneiform. Anyway troll and Sandy pants decided that I needed to do a 50 case audit before they would sign me off to do plain film commenting. Anyway frigging nosey parker passed which isn't fair cos she's a little shit and only been qualified 5 minutes.

And we had to put up with her dissecting every bloody film she looked at and moaning about how unfair the whole thing was, even though nosey passed!

And she was looking over my shoulder and looking at all the films I was trying to do for my audit and passing comment, which is very annoying, in the end I told nosey that I was supposed to be doing the audit on my own! She shut up and shifted! But still kept noseying over my shoulder.

On another front, devil and her spawn very nearly ran me and kids over on the school drive yesterday morning, so then I was worried about collecting the kids after school in case she had a go at me again. Spawn been off school tue and wed. Anyway no confrontation in playground yesterday but this morning she was out of the car and stalking passed me in the playground, evil witch, so I legged it out of playground before Wm had gone into class, he likes me to wave until he goes through the door. I then managed to pull out into traffic just behind her, I could see her evil eyes flicking into mirror, looking at me. WITCH!

Work was busy last night, and they didn't put another helper on after one rang in sick, so we were racing all over on our own, although I didn't go to bucket on my own, the ghosts down there scare me!

I have scanned BC's big class photo onto comp and printed out just her group, cos it's a nice little group piccy.


I am off to music with the kids in the morning and then we are going to hang out at camp for a bit as the Lancashire lot are over doing wardening this weekend and the BF will be about, so I can at least look at him and drool!

Anyway I have moaned enough for tonight, see ya again x x x x

kids need mute button!

Hi

I have been left alone early as hubby is starting work an hour earlier to cover someone's annual leave, so the kids are giddy and I am fed up of 'em both.

I have been hunting down a black t-shirt and black hoody for BC to wear for book day at school, she wants to look like a vampire! And a stripey t-shirt for Wm as he wants to go dressed as Harold from the Captain Underpants books.

BC didn't like the t-shirt though so I shall take it back and get my money back, she is going to wear a very dark navy blue one instead, she didn't like the sleeves on the black one! Awkward little sod!

666 was off school Friday, back yesterday and was off again today! Still WM is being good and ignoring him, if only he could ignore his sister too!

I am fed up already of being on cat feeding duty, I have put visitor's permit in car and am keeping it until my brother takes over when his car is back from the garage for repair.

I have started a blog for BC, with her stories on it, we'll see how it goes and if she gets any followers.

There will be tears before bedtime the way the brats are carrying on.

I miss BF, I know I saw him twice this last weekend but I do miss his company.

See ya later x x x x x

I never sat down all day!

Hi

Well WM has been discharged from the dental hospital now so back to normal checkups with our own dentist. He insisted on an M&S sandwich for his lunch though before I dumped him back at school. Then I did a dash over town to feed mum's cats, (they have a different apartment today with a balcony and they have blue skies) followed by a wander around staples, hobbycraft and currys. I was fancying a bluetooth adaptor for the dell but didnt spot anything of the sort!

So I spent nothing and therefore felt like a shoplifter, kept my hands on view at all times!

The BF now has his own facebook page, created by me, and I have given him his login details, he now has 7 friends with 1 pending! So far they are me, the dog, LC, and TQ but 4 independent of me, though I know them and are my friends too.

I really did enjoy myself at the weekend, tucked up under the BF's duvet, and we had a lovely lunch on sunday but I perhaps moaned a bit too much about hubby. He's beggared off to work early to cover for some annual leave. He has a course coming up in a few weeks at Milton Keynes but I am working night before and have no annual leave left, so unless I give up my standby and come home at 4, I'll be asking the in laws to look after them. I really don't want to be home at 4 and then do school run, I feel once in my bed I should be allowed to stay there!

Anyway see ya all later x x x x

Numpties R Us

Hi



Can you believe the mad night we had?? We had someone break into an office and try to steal the computers, not nice flat screen ones, the old scabby ones! He was going to try to leg it through the fire exit, only one problem, he was a one legged half gypsy, who tried to curse the security guards when the collared him for trying to break into a room on the lower ground floor. We found the inside pane of the double glazed window was broken too.

What I need to know is how a bloke with one leg and a crutch was going to get some rather large computer gear out of the building without being spotted?? Answers on a postcard please.

We also had 3 large coppers in full riot gear including helmets stood in A&E waiting area next to a small bloke who looked completely dwarfed by them, it took ages to find out what they were up to. When nurses took him in, she asked them why they had helmets still on and visors down, and they said "cos he's a spitter" what saddo's, although they could have borrowed full face theatre masks.

On Friday morning they had a pyscho (not sure what he had taken, alcohol, drugs or both, but people were after him) threaten 2 of the staff with a rather large stapler, (it is huge) so they obviously called security and he was disarmed, only TQ reckons that as the stapler normally kept in bottom office that maybe it was this guy who had broken the window in there during the Thursday night and not the one legged gypsy on Saturday night as initially thought, especially as the day staff had been told on Saturday day by the cleaner that the inside pane of the double glazed window was broken, but they didn't think it important to mention it or put it in the handover book! I reckon that makes the day staff lazy arsed buggers, but we knew that!

Well I went to feed Mum's cats today then popped down to garden centre to get some more rabbit food, the stuff I bought other day wasn't good enough for the bunny, he has given me filthy looks everytime I have put that in the bowl. After I went out for lunch to the pub near camp with the BF. I had rather a nice tuna sandwich and raw onions in the salad, which means that I didn't get a snog either home or away!!

I went to bed at 4am and thought I'd play another level of Cradle of Rome on my DS, when I finally put it away and checked time on my phone (no clock in overnight room) it was 6am! Anyway I didn't get much sleep because someone had opened a nightclub on the landing the minute my head hit the pillow, noisy bastards.

Hubby is making tea, roast gammon and veg etc, do you think he could find a way to poison that or am I safe?

I have to take WM to dentist again tomorrow, a filling then we should be all done at last.

Also I have a parent evening at school tomorrow to discuss how BC is getting on with her SATS work as she takes her year 6 SATS in May. She hasn't been offered any booster classes so I hope that means she's doing well, she is above her level for most subjects anyway.

Anyway I didn't win £85 million on the euromillions Friday night, in fact I didn't win anything :-(

See ya later, the mass poisoner is nearly finished cooking! x x x x x

Minty Fresh Breath!

Hi

Well a girl at work has been telling us how her friends boyfriend decided to put toothpaste on his crown jewels to make them minty fresh for when his girlfriend decided to go down there, only to realise rather quickly that toothpaste burns!!

She also told us about another friend who had a chinese takeaway with the boyfriend, he had salt and pepper spare ribs and after dinner they got a bit frisky, he started playing with her downstairs regions having not washed his hands! Talk about burning sensation, she had to sit in a bath of cold water! Needless to say he was dumped!

I went to have breakfast at BF's today, I took a sausage and egg mcmuffin for him and a bacon and cheese bagel for me! We ended up snuggled up in bed with me getting extra sausage! We both fell asleep and woke up at 10.40am! I was very cosy though and didn't want to leave but had to as needed to get diesel and food for tea on my way home. Hubby didn't say anything about my late arrival home.

Anyway I have spent most of the day in bed, 3 different ones! One at work, BF's and my own!

Wm is under orders to sleep in my bed tonight and keep the dog company, she can't get into his bed as it is a cabin bed and she gets lonely bless her when I am not there!

The bunny and pig have survived going into the outdoor hutch and haven't as yet been turned into curry, oh ye of little faith out there. I still can't decide if the poison curry was chicken or hamster, not a lot of meat on a hammy though is there!

TQ has been pestering me for 2 days about how to grow potatoes. I pointed out she could buy the seed potatoes now but needn't bother with the compost as they would need chitting and then planting and you should wait till frosts over and then plant, so be about April before she can plant them out. My seed potatoes are in the car boot, they won't grow much in there will they!

I need to loose weight, I decided this as I troughed down a pizza for tea tonight, still if the weather improves I can get on my bike, only on the flat bits though, and I will maybe stick it in car boot and go somewhere nobody knows me!

See ya soon x x x x x

Work again!

Hi

So I missed a blog because Hubby was at home last night loitering next to me all night, makes it impossible to blog the details if he's around!

The IVA is well under way now, they have arranged the creditors meeting for 24th March, hoping it all goes through ok!

Tomorrow I am of for a cuddle with the BF at his place, so that'll be nice, I can't wait to see him again, seems forever but only a couple of weeks!

Not heard anymore from the Doc.

Wm seems to be behaving at school towards the end of the week, which is good.

Anyway I am off now to do some work, x x x x x

Sorry I missed a day

Hi

Well I was mega busy last night at work, I even got time to put a piece of evidence on my CPD profile, but I didn't get time to do my blog unobserved!

The Doc sent me a text on Monday morning, so I suppose that means I haven't offended him too much! "Good morning Beautiful! Safely back from Vegas this morning! See u soon! Love Doc xx"
Anyway I have omitted to tell him I am free this weekend as I have made prior arrangements with the BF, as Hubby is taking thu and fri nights off work so he is taking the kids to music lessons on Sat, this means I can go for a hanky panky session!

I have a viva exam next week, for a course at work. They have picked a day when 2 of us are due to work 5-4 in the evening and one is doing a 9-8 wed night and 9-8 thu night, I am not sure precisely when they expect us to sleep! And they want us to go in for a tutorial on wed too, before the viva on thu!

And the only advice we have had is to know our anatomy! BOLLOCKS!! At least I know where those are!

BC decided to be sick last night at Grandma's, so I have had her at home all day, bouncing a ball in the lounge, and generally not seeming that ill at all!

Anyway tired now, more tomorrow, x x x x

Hi

The image is to represent how WM is stabbing 666 in the back (or front as the image shows) there has been some name calling at school today.

They little darlings, Wm, BFF and their other friend tweenie decided to start calling 666 "Captain Tidgy Weener", I have let BFF's mum know and their teacher as well. She is going to have words with them tomorrow.

In other news today, BC has got her school placement for Sept 2009 through. She has got a place at Appleton Academy, I know you've never heard of it but that is because it doesn't open until sept 2009, currently it is Wyke Manor. They are getting a new logo, new school building in 2011, and new uniform. Modom is pleased because it isn't the one with the blazers etc for the uniform. Though she really wanted to go to Dixons, but she had a 1 in 9 chance of a place there as over subscribed by that amount!

So back to me, I have had 3 bean soup for tea, very nice although it won't be for my work colleagues tomorrow night when the bean soup makes it's exit!

I am trying to persuade the BF to get himself on Facebook, but he isn't even on the internet yet!

I have volunteered for 5 archery teaching sessions so far this year and that is only until July. Wait for the school holidays to get booked up and I am sure I will be busier!

If only I got paid to teach but I don't even get so much as expenses. I do it for the love of it, I actually enjoy archery and should get my bow out and practice sometime!

I am having a little can of lager and watching another episode of NCIS.

See ya soon x x x

The Devil is Registered!

Hi

The Devil it turns out is a registered childminder, I have been checking on the council website and have found her this time. It says she can look after 1 under a year, 3 under 5, and 3 over 5 including the spawn of herself! Well if 666 is a nasty piece of work at school I dread to think how he treats the kids his mum looks after!

BFF's mum has facebooked me though, to see how things are going, only we can't access facebook at work anymore so I shall have to answer her tomorrow from home, I won't be doing the school run at all tomorrow. As she rightly says WM is not one to complain really so it is a good job 666 hit 2 kids and was seen and dobbed in by the other kids!

I have been busy at work, and trying to do some of my homework too, I have done ankle and am now working my way through the foot!

The draft IVA stuff arrived yesterday, so I have read through it and just need to sign it and get hubby to sign all his bits, seems fairly straightforward. If when we get house reassessed for remortgage in month 54 of the IVA and the amount we can free up is less than £5000 then they don't make you bother as it is not worth it with all the fees to pay to mortgage companies as well.
Also if they feel you need to pay a bit more they can make it 72 months instead of 60. Still that doesn't really bother me, so long as it goes ahead. I see that the first year nothing goes to the creditors and you are just building up a fund from which you begin to pay a bit in the 2nd year, then more each year after that. From a debt of £106000 we will be paying approx £52000 into the plan, of that a set amount goes to the IVA company, can be as much as 40%, the rest is divided out between creditors.

I still need to inform the car loan people of the IVA though, I haven't sent them a letter yet.

We have been trying to find hospital related songs for a dept CD. So far we have:

Hotel California - once you're in, you can never leave!
Umbrella/disturbia - one of staff is called Rianna.
Drove all Night (Changed words to C Diff all night)
Hospital food - self explanatory
St James Infirmary Blues - I know it's not the name of our place but it's about a hospital!
Bones - the killers hit song!

Anymore suggestions??? Then we need a recording studio and some decent musicians to make our own "bad taste" departmental CD for chariteeeee.

The Teddy Bear baby grow I am knitting is now huge, I think we could get an adult into the bloody thing! And I am only doing the 2nd size which is 6 - 12 months, imagine the size of the 12 - 24 month one!

I wanted to pop up to see the BF this weekend but didn't get the chance, and this Sat my parents will be away on holiday again so I will have to collect the kids from the in-laws and take them to music, which means no Saturday morning hanky panky with the BF :-(

And I mentioned Sunday in a text to him only he may be working this Sunday, so that's not fair either :-(

Still he is supposed to be going back onto shifts soon so I may be able to have mid-week shagtastic sessions instead!

Well another body has arrived, so I best log off, don't want anyone reading over my shoulder now do we???

Love and Kisses x x x x